Time to Move On

Sitting here staring at my computer, listening to Neil Young, Greatful Dead, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and others of similar style while reading about others journeys coupled with sitting here in this one spot for quite a while and also getting ripped for a dime bag on my last 10 spot, it is really quite reflective. Wow what a run-on sentence that was huh? I guess I am just in a philosophical mood. I was really looking forward to getting good and stoned, but instead I am sober, but the ideas and thoughts that I looked forward to in an altered state of mind still seem to come to me anyways.

I sit thinking about the adventures that await, the feelings and emotions I will experience, where I will experience them, the things I want to accomplish in my life. Right now my current goal is to get up to San Francisco. I want to be there by the 25th, that gives me 6 days. Surely I can easily accomplish this goal if I keep myself focused and on track.

When I arrive there I look forward to meeting up with my best friend so that we can join together on this journey. From there I plan on hitching up near Portland Or. to visit a friend of mine. Seems like a great way to kill some time while I await for 4/20 to arrive.

I will trek back down into California for 4/20 in Arcata which is located in Humboldt County. Though it may not be the biggest 4/20 celebration in the nation, there is something magical about celebrating the day in one of the most famous locations in the USA and indeed the world for the growth of ganja.

I have looked at my journey up to this point as a learning and adjusting time. I am pretty well acclimated now to the lifestyle, and I feel it is time for a shift into a more spiritual experience. That is why I got ripped on $10 trying to get a dime bag of some green. I was really looking forward to getting good and stoned and enjoying a spiritual experience with it, though I guess I will just have to wait now wont I? It is OK, it is not the first time I have been ripped, I am sure it is some returning karma. Yeah it sucks but in the grand scheme of things it was only $10, there will be plenty of 10 spots to come back my way in the future.

I think I am also going to try to change my focus from hitching trucks to hitching cars. Cars generally are much faster, more often then not offer to share some ganja, and other then that it is just time for a change. Though until I can come up with some of the equipment I need, I am still going to try to stick to truck stops for my layovers in between.

Though my layover here in San Antonio didn't really happen the way I wanted it to, it was still a good refreshing layover. After getting my laundry washed, getting a shower, and some good productive internet time in, I feel refreshed and ready to move on. I sort of regret letting my buddy hold on to my guitar, now I have to wait for him to bring it back to me before I can proceed. I have been awake all night, so now I will have to sleep during the day which is going to throw off my schedule.

To a degree I am seeing who my true friends are in this situation. It is amazing to see who will really be there for you and who will just give a smile and say good luck, or will just flat out tell you you are stupid or crazy. I am really getting the feeling of being on my own, it is starting to sink in in a way I have never felt it before. Not that I am feeling 'lonely' or something, but starting to see the reality of being on my own. In some ways it is a scary feeling yet even more importantly it is an empowering feeling with a great sense of freedom and responsibility. It really makes me wish I had a more creative and impacting way of expressing my thoughts and my feelings for others to share. I really wish I was better at my guitar then I am. I wish I could sing even a little bit. I wish I was a better author then I am.

On the subject of authorship... There was a time years ago that I was really writing some awesome and inspiring things. Granted it was during a time of heavy mind altering substance abuse, but there was a creativity in my writing that I had never experienced before that point in time, nor afterward. There have been many times I have tried to rekindle that fire, yet in my mind nothing I write compares. I feel like my writing is rather crappy to be honest, that I cannot get my point across the way I would like, that I cannot infuse the emotion and feeling that I would like the story I am telling to convey. I am not much of a story teller either, so I guess I just do not have the articulation in language to express myself the way I would like. Nonetheless I will still write to the best of my ability and continue to share via this blog, I just wish I could convey some of the things I really wish to convey better then I am.

I am sort of feeling a need for support right now, so I ask that you guys start leaving some comments! I would like some feedback, and to know who is reading about my life! I really like to have a full interaction, so everyone please participate!

Until next time...

Peace, Love, and Happiness to all!